Gentlemen is not a word that is used very often in today’s society. What is a gentleman? As a football coach, I tried to teach my players to be gentlemen. That is a very difficult concept for young men to learn when they are bombarded each and every day with a culture that almost encourages them to act the opposite of gentlemen. It is very difficult to overcome the messages that are sent to these young people each and every day through marketing and through culture such as music. So the bottom line is how do you teach young men to become more of a gentleman and what do I mean by being a gentleman?
There are two main concepts to being a gentleman. Number one, the word gentle means that you are more concerned with the feelings of others than your own feelings. It is extremely difficult to teach a young man to hit the pause button in a situation and think of how the other person in the situation may be feeling at the moment. One characteristic that is shared by many young people today, is that they all believe that they are at the center of the universe. They believe that the world revolves around them. It is a tough lesson to learn for young people and it is a tough concept to get them to understand that the world does not revolve around them. However you can accomplish this by simply making them more aware of other people's surroundings and situations. Expose these young people to other situations not just around the world but simply around your own school or town. Expose them to situations and get them outside of their bubble. Let them know that they are not a victim of the circumstances. This can be done through group projects such as reading to elementary school children, or working to feed the hungry or helping the homeless. Teaching young people to think about others is very difficult but it can be accomplished through persistent work.
The second part of gentleman is “man.” Once again we have a word that is not very popular in today’s environment. What does being a man mean? Look at it from a positive perspective. Look at the positive characteristics that a gentleman should have. When I would try to teach my players about becoming a man, they often only thought about the freedoms that come along with being an adult. The players did not think about the responsibilities of becoming a good man. Whether it was a good son, a good brother, a good husband, or a good father. The first part of being a man is accepting responsibility. Teach young people to accept responsibility for their behavior and their situation. They are not victims. They are where they are and they are what they are because of their response to the environment that they are in. The second part of being a man here is being a part of something greater than you. I always tried to use the easiest example of being a part of the football team. The team is greater than the individual. Being a part of something greater than you could include being a part of a family. Being a part of an organization that helps the needy. Being a part of a church. And the last part of being a man would simply be to become a strong leader. Not a follower, but a true leader. I would provide leadership classes during the off-season and during the summer for the players. We would constantly work on leadership skills throughout the year. I believe that a good strong man accepts responsibility, he’s a part of something greater than himself and he is a great leader.
Now if you put gentle and man together, I believe you have what truly a gentleman is. A gentleman is an individual who is more concerned with the feelings of others than his own feelings. A gentleman accepts responsibility for his actions. A gentleman is a part of something greater than himself. And a gentleman is a strong leader. We must work constantly to help our young people become gentlemen. We will not always succeed but with continuous and persistent effort we will reach and affect more young people in a positive way then we will lose. Never give up on the young people up today and never give up on yourself. We can all work to be better gentlemen.
–Coach Greg King